Why Wise People Often Piss Us Off

How to get past the blow off, pass their test, and enter their ranks

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

“Who the ƒ@%* do they think THEY are!”

After a failed first meeting with a wise, influential, or hyper-successful leader, I’d usually ask that. I’d hear amazing things about a person, try reaching out, and get shot down repeatedly. Worse, they’d discount or trash me in some way.

Have you ever felt the same?

You meet (or attempt an introduction) with someone profound or influential and do your best to appear bright and together. Only to leave the moment sad and angry when that person pulls you apart with their words or actions.

It took me years to understand, but their dismissal, insult, or disinterest is often a test. Wise people employ a skill that works nearly every time. We must learn to play their game to connect with wise and influential people. After decades of trial and error, I’ve discovered five ways to master their tactics and win mentorship, support, and peer-to-peer camaraderie.

The first thing to understand is:

The wise don’t have time for everyone.

Wise people have much to share with the world, but they often cordon their wisdom to a small few.

There are only a fixed number of seconds in the day, and the wise are aware of it. They either use those seconds to pour into a critical set of individuals, enjoy their daily lives, or be intellectually, emotionally, or spiritually recharged by those wiser. Most of us tolerate people who bring us down; worse, we try to bring them down even further. The wise don’t.

Why should they?

They’ve worked life to its fullest, fought for every discovered insight, and adopted practices few in the rest of the world take the time to master.

Though some are still arrogant a-holes (those believing in their status), most wise people are the exact opposite.

They want to pour into others.

Because those moments of revelation with others help them develop new wisdom and insights, every one-on-one moment offers potential advancement and growth, both for the mentor and mentee. But only if the mentee is the correct type of person.

The wise are always searching for these people. Wise people like sharing their wisdom. We like sharing our meals, vacations, and bodies on social media. The wise enjoy sharing their life-altering discoveries, ideas, and strategies. The wise see the right people as an investment. For a wise person to decide if you are worth the investment:

They will provoke or insult you, then wait to see your reaction.

Being on the wrong side of the spotlight doesn’t feel good.

That’s the point.

It requires immense discipline to take rebuke or correction with grace and dignity. This provocation/rebuke strategy appears unfair and unloving. Yet, there are reasons why it is necessary.